English Digital research - Assignment 2

Author: Modestu Ipangelwa

 The Contradictions of Antiquity

A man Confused of How the World Appeared to Turn to Him

Real life was an imaginary story that I just heard and I really never thought I would experience real life that I was told by almost everyone because when I saw my life, it seemed to be hopeless. It kept me thinking about the future, it was not bright but it was not very far away but few miles close to me. I’m a fool at this time because I reasons like a child and thinks like a child and I never focus on the blessings that I’m busy experiencing at the time. And then, I came across the climax point, where I was forced to stop looking at things on the surfaces, but rather examining them with the great efforts. I felt like someone in the fire, really burning with infinite pain’s sensation. Ideas in me were like branches of networks of mobile station. I did not know what to think of, neither had I known how my mind was functioning. In my spirit, I felt isolated, devastated and hopeless.

I considered myself to be higher derogatory, left out and outdated. It was the contradictions that filled my soul, the suffering I thought I would never experience and obvious pain of our humanity. Until at that stage, I could not figure the problem out because the problem was implicit. However, I was determined to fight the bitter sorrow tears of my life’s consequences. I was determined to face whatever outcome of my struggle would be. It was not easy to be a protagonist of the imaginary war. Firstly, I was sceptical of what I felt because I felt like I was still growing and that, I’m mentally pre-matured. When I came to the realization that I was wrong, I almost gave up, but that would have been a wrong course I would had ever taken in my life. I had something in my mind that I could not interpret. Something I visualized but I did not know exactly what it was. I had a hope that one day it will be explicitly exposed before my very eyes. I did researches on various psychological matters, hoping to find out what was wrong with me but I could not find any answer that could satisfy my curiosity.

Eish, I was mentally disturbed to the point that I can only think of ridicule mythology lessons that I heard when I was still innocent, being a baby and not exposed to life’s anxieties and worries of every second of life. Eventually, I came to be the beggar of my life and well prepared warrior of the calamities that I was facing. Being vigorous in the spirit and well prepared with no regret of whatever might happened in the so-called human battle. I decided to put my fight into the action and really struggling without an idea of what was really going on. In agony, I made my way into one terrifying forest in the unknown world. I came across some huge rocks that I admired. They caught my attention and I decided to climb on one of it. I felt the joy that I never felt before because the revelation of my problem was at hand. Unknowingly, I was standing at the edge of cliff on the mighty rock that I never encounter in my life before. My curiosity led me to the point that I decided to enter the cave and see what was really going on with the beauty of nature of that place. There was a blow hole that extended deep to the other edge of the cave and I was eager to follow it, regardless of what might happened to me in that empty space with darkness. I made it through, and I told myself that my life is not pre-determined neither anybody knows the fate of my actions. Upon the exit of the cave, I gave a glare on one side of the world and I could see the mountain with a roller coasting road. It seemed to me that it was a new earth that has no originality. I kept on with my way to the mountain that later made a saddle. I again gave a glare on the other side of the world and I could see something that was amazing and good looking. I thought I was horizontal right on the medication of drowsiness, but that was not the case at that moment.

I was skeptical, because the view brought me uncertainty. I kept thinking if I was really busy doing something or it is because I was busy thinking about something, then that something clanged into my memories. The image of what I was seeing was explicit and gave me evidence that it was something that is real. This drew me closer and closer and to the extent that I was really closer. I was seeing somebody that I longed to see, someone that I dearly missed to meet and something that I thought to have in my life. Even though, I was not fully equipped with the information and evidence, I came to the conclusion that I was not in bed and that I was not mentally disturbed. This was something that one could never give away, it was like an expensive treasure that one could have it only upon expiration, because in Sheol there is no work nor wisdom or knowledge but it is a place of leisure and resting. Interestingly, this was a woman that I had made a vow with, the angel of my life and the sweet of my soul. I was delighted and joyfully touched her. When I touched her, she looked at me and I hardly recognized her as a person, but rather as an angel. Her beauty can make someone to die and her lips can make someone to fall. Well, her smile was powerful and it had the power to devour someone’s heart. I could not hold because it was a provisional privilege of me having her at that moment.

I did not know who she was neither I knew her originality; all I knew about her was the fact that she caught my whole soul. This was Rehab.... Interestingly, she came out from the sea that is full of fish and of various types. That sea that contained various sea creatures and it was the mother of another world biodiversity. Since from birth, my eyes have been simple and I did not look elsewhere as to find Rehab. Perfect time can be really waited and I concluded that perfect love can fall on you if you endure the tribulations that are associated with the battle that I had been fighting. Our lives then started to cling on every moment of our second that we had together and each glance upon each one was really unexplainable to the point that I could not hold anymore but to look at her fingers and started imagining looking at her with a diamond shining to symbolize the strong bond that prevails between her and I. The momentum of our lives came into reality and impossible things that seemed to be impossible came to be as possible as I never thought it would be. She could tell me sweet words and nice dialogues we enjoyed. We managed to explore the wonder of the world in the most fascinating way. After all, she departed from my very eyes and this brought miseries and thoughts that I never thought I would think of. I needed an immediate open heart surgery because the heart attack that I had was conditional, my pulses stopped and breathing organs came to be abnormal. Really, I was left being unable to breath and really breathless to the point that I would had gone to the fans in the Last Hope Living Room in the unknown hospital. Unfortunately, I never thought that my life would be that of despair because the event of me and her brought my life at the very edge of desperation.

The day did not die for strangers but alive for foes.

It was in the afternoon of an unknown day when I went horizontal and forget all I had in mind. I was not insane neither I needed a psychologist because I knew what was going on, even though my senses were locked up. I went in the world of dreamlands and it seemed to me that the world was as spacious as vacuum. There was no particle, neither tiny matters of creation. My soul was incapable of interpreting the way I was viewing. I was in the abyss of antiquity, the hole of hopeless and in the bottomless pit of nothing. In agony, I could scream and foolishly reasoned as a real fool as no one could hear me. I kept on with my motionless trip of exploring the world that I never knew and the one that I never encounter since I was called someone as a person. This happened during the time of love inquisition in thousands and hundreds of countless years ago. I was in the dark and in deeper in hue, in the secret and in the obscure moment. Suddenly, two warriors came to me with terrifying and terrible look. This was during the time, when hope was hopeless and when there was no hope at all and I felt exactly the same way that I reasoned.

When they came, I felt like, I’m gone and the only thing that was left, is to be remembered to those who can and to those that had my memories. I screamed and even more but nobody could tune my volume up, in myself, the batteries were dead and can no longer go as far as I was thinking. I was terrified and I was shocked, obscured and unsecured, being unable to move neither to ran away. These warriors were drawing closer even more closely to the point that I could not see who they were anymore. This reminded me of the proverb I heard when I was in school which says “I teach you to fly because one day you will use your own wings”.  I did not want to be a coward neither to be a scoundrel but to be a hero nor to be admired by the generation to come. I became a real man at that very moment of my life and decided that whatever happens, I will be invincible. I came to know that this was not a physical battle but a battle of love. These warriors were Dr. Love and Dr. Passion. I had to fight these mighty and experienced warriors and only to find out in the end that I was defeated by both and therefore I came to be in-love and had a passion of whatever things that I had no clue. I was not only defeated but I gained the victory over things that I do not know. I became cruel and kind simultaneously and I became a king of love and the kingdom belonged to me. I could put on my crown unknowingly, especially when I meet places that I can hide the treasures that I gained.

Places were indeed countless and wherever I was, I could see them but I did not know which one was appropriate. The passion I had for the places of treasure was greater that I could not share it with anybody. Woo, I was in captivity and in slavery of my career as a king of love. Places could move and talk things that were revolving my mind as to catch my attention. This brought me to the edge of desperation because my heart was devoured and taken away from me. I reigned as a king of love for a century after century. I met obstacles and road blocks that aimed to put me down but I have been totally invincible. I remembered very well upon one occasion, when I was wandering around my palace, four mountains came in front of me, there were all good looking and to spend time with them and admiring them was really worthier.  However, this was an addiction of the power I had, the poisoning of my thought and the rejuvenation of my passion.

Automatically, I was promoted and given a universal position as an emperor. This was a legacy of my heart of ruling the power of feelings and emotions. The empire was inaugurated by Princes of my heart and the Queen of my love’s Kingdom. I was delighted and joyfully applauded in the very inner parts of my heart. The heart of love came to be an empire and it was so magnificent and expensive. It was built with treasures that originated from where two doctors came from. Mountains would come, hoping that I would climb them up, but I always denied because I knew that they were not the right one. This was the temptation as I was growing older and older as they were following my steps closely. This led me to almost a wrong conclusion of taking one of those admirable mountains. I was tormented and humiliated as the king and emperor of this beautiful type of things that I was ruling.

Day after day and night after night, I spent them all wide and awake with hope to find the right mountain since other one departed in the world that is gone. Hope was hopeless and there was no hope still. My mind was full of contradictions and it was really revolving just as a clock does.  The emperor, who is me, have been just like a stick even to the point that I decided to conquer the nearby empires, I was just single. My arrows were words and the bow was my mouth. I could shoot the fastest burning arrows over mountains and it was obvious that I was to succeed on the every occasion. Mountains liked me and they were willing to do all I required them to do for me. I mean, I was a knight man and a man that belonged in the suitcase. Desperately, I reasoned one day very wisely and foolishly upon my procrastination of climbing these beautiful mountains. Gradually, I became speechless and asked myself secretly the very confidential question that I managed to suffer its consequences later after I replied myself, because I stroked one mountain with fast burning arrows and I gave no chance for it to explain why it had to suffer the fate, hoping to find Rehab again.

Being discombobulated in the world that I don't know.

I came to be a hunter and the legend of love. One day I took up a tour to explore the bases of the mountains, the beautiful rocks and the sea that is full of fish. This was during the time when I was assigned to be tormented during 19^th century of love’s inquisition. As a king of love and emperor of the heart of the love, I became more involved in this harsh tormenting punishment, because I was the main subject of it. One day I came across some of the room that were used by the doctors to help deliver those that are ready to give its outcome. This room was firmly established on the granite rocks and its foundation was on strata of carbonates. I gave an attempt to hit it as a result of stress and agony and then, something remarkable was revealed. The rock was as soft as snow and the way I was breathing was as hard as a limestone rock.

I gave another attempt to hit again... the hole was formed and the shining light that was so reflective came out.  I was terrified and soliloquized, I breezed right there. Someone came out and greeted me said, “Wish you peace sir”. Wow this was amazing; someone just came out of the grave. This someone I knew and always with her. She was the one that formed a mental scar upon my mind and she was a source of pain and the distress I had. This was marvellous and indeed supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. All I had were just imaginations that were symbolizing the future’s event that I actually had no clue of it. What was amazing about this “she”, was the fact that I had been looking at her but I did not know that she will be the one to be called upon this universal copyright and trademarked name. I was also wondering because I never knew her colour, race, tribe and language she speaks because we could only communicate in the language that I taught mountains in my empire and in the kingdom of Love that I reigned. I never knew I would have such an opportunity to see things such a beauty, such a smile and such quick nice look from someone I long to live with. The truth is, battle should be fought and victory should go to one that deserves it.

It has been a long way, since 19^th century when I started exploring the world that is full of mountains and Sea that is full of fish and not to forget, the day I saw a real fish, the beautiful mountain and real Rehab. All came as results of endurance and boldness to continue. It is true that an Explorer of things mentioned should not be a coward or being a scoundrel, but rather as a man of courage and hope, mentally and physical fit as well as a man of faith even in times of distress and that is what I was. As a king of love and emperor of the heart of love, I came from nothing to something; I contemplated doing my love research project myself and anticipated my actions too. To those who like procrastinating and giving up easily, remember this, love does not ask why, as long as it speaks from the heart, inclined and ready to give birth, there is always a point where you will not, say never say ever.

You will be forced to fight in an unknown battle utilizing Dr. Love as well as Dr. Passion’s arrows and bows which is simply the mouth and its flagellum-like thing but be sure that you are equipped with love glowing heart and your tongue should give fast burning arrows. Lastly, the world is full of beautiful places, mighty rocks, expensive treasures and good looking mountains, so never give up and always be determined to move on with your life at the same pace with them. Any attempt will be worthier, so try to go on one and experience the real joy of hard work.... only if you are determined to see what you longed for, and touched what you admired and feel what you have been fighting for and lastly, you will be honoured and be a king and a legend of love, an explorer and emperor of the heart of love.